A mother. A daughter. A topic.
For anybody who knows me or who has read this blog in the past (and knows how crazy I am about shoes)…this one will strike you as odd. But it is the truth.
I HATE all the shoes with the ridiculous stiletto platforms that try to lure us into thinking that we can actually stand in a shoe sitting more than 6” off the ground…and then walk.
You know the ones I’m talking about…they look pretty at first glance, but they’ve been known to give women nose bleeds when they wear them!
The theory of course is that the platform helps to raise the front part of our foot off the ground enough to reduce the angle down from the 6” heel behind the platform.
But who are they kidding?
The whole combination just makes us walk on stilts without anything touching the damn floor!
And when I see women try to walk in them…I think they look like they’re either constipated (ya have to squeeze your tush really tight in order to stay upright in ‘em) or have had their feet bound since birth (shuffling along in 2” increments).
(Pause) (Breathe)
Ok. Now that I’ve said it, I feel all the 54 years that I am. And right now, that feels old.
Why? Because when I was wearing a cute little shoe with a 3–*-” heel (not too long ago), I remember my mother saying to me …”how do you walk in those things?” And she sounded old when she said it.
So I’ve become my mother.
But I’m standing by my hatred.
‘Cause I think they’re just too much shoe.
Honestly, how can you look at them and not think they’re bulky.
I mean come ‘on!?! A platform bootie?
It looks like little foot tanks, or the boots they put on people who have had major foot surgery.
Or platform shoes that combine their bulkiness with animal prints? Like we want lots of spotted patterns on our feet?
*Exception: some animal print shoes can be lovely with a simple outfit, adding just a bit of interest while making the whole look classy…and styling, as long as the shoes are an accent and don’t look like we just wrapped our foot in a live leopard.
Finally…and the end of my rant (I promise)…What is up with the large, bulky platform shoes that are COVERED with sequins, jewels or crystals?
It’s not enough that we’re towering off the ground, but have to be shooting off rays of light as we walk?
Maybe I am old.
Or I’ve just gotten to the point where I like to blend the pieces of my wardrobe together into one cohesive look, rather than having all the attention go to two gigantic coverings on my feet.
Who knows. I’m so worked up now…I think I’ll put on my favorite pair of simple, classy, fuzzy slippers and curl up with all my new fashion magazines.
Maybe they’re showing the new line of 6” platform running shoes.
1) Uggs with mini-skirts. I thought that those silly, furry, bulky boots were no longer popular, but I can attest that the sorority girls on college campuses all over the place (well, at least in Boulder), are still rocking the Uggs, especially with short skirts or shorter shorts.
There’s absolutely no logic in it. If it’s cold enough to actually wear the damn boots, then put some pants on, ladies.
2) Jeggings. For those of you who don’t know, “jeggings” are leggings made to look like jeans.
This is not a question America should be asking…
Now, I have a confession: I believe that I accidentally bought some jeggings. Now they’re not denim colored, so I don’t think that they’re technically jeggings, BUT they’re definitely not just leggings, either. I thought I was buying some black leggings, but when I got home, I realized that they had a zipper, button, and pockets. All of these signs point to jeggings (except for the color). I am not proud of them. I don’t like that I own them. But sometimes (SOMETIMES) I wear them. I will never (NEVER) wear denim colored ones, though. They’re silly, ok?
3) Temporary Lip Tattoos…? I don’t know if these are actually catching on, but if so, then THESE:
4) Finally, can I just complain that 9 out of every 10 wedding dresses in the world are strapless???? Let me tell you a little something: strapless tops/dresses are flattering on MAYBE four percent of women. I, sadly, am NOT one of those women. They don’t look good. Pulling them up every five minutes and shoving your boobs back into them doesn’t look good.
Straps = our friends.
Then again, I don’t think straps would really help these dresses…
So… as you may have noticed…its been a little quiet here on She Thinks lately, yes?
Well, it’s partly because we’re busy and such, but mostly because we’ve run out of interesting topics to write about. We know they’re out there…but we just can’t grab onto them and get inspired ourselves.
So help us out here: if you enjoy this blog, please, send us topics!
We’re just… blank. And we’d love to know if you have any burning or interesting questions that you’d like us to (attempt to) answer.
I’m sure with your help, we’ll get inspired again and hit the keys with gusto…at least for awhile.
And hey…in advance…thanks for anything you come up with.
Yes, I echo Mom’s call to send us topics, but will also take this as an opportunity to say that She Thinks is slowing down. We both love writing this blog together, but we also both have a lot going on, and I’ll especially have a lot MORE going on with GRADUATE SCHOOL and WEDDING PLANNING very soon.
I’m not ready to say it’s over completely (although that may be the case…), but I think its fair to say that our posts will definitely be much more sporadic in the months to come.
That said…we’d really like to round out a full year of She Thinks before we slow down, and end the summer with a bang before this new phase of my life begins.
So please SEND US TOPICS, mmkay? We can’t promise we’ll use all of them, but inspiration is half the battle…