A mother. A daughter. A topic.
Topic: What does “aging gracefully” mean to you?
{ Topic submitted by Carol G. }
Cindy Thinks
Ally Thinks
My initial thought for this topic was to try to think of any old people I’ve know, whom I consider to have aged gracefully…because the concept of aging gracefully is way too out there for me yet.
I’m just 54 ya know. Waaaaaay too young to have to think about aging gracefully…yet.
And then it hit me.
There are people out there who are probably looking at me right now and judging whether or not they think I’m aging gracefully, or not. OY.
But I’ve known for awhile now that the older we get…the older our definition of “old” becomes. So logically, to a teenager, I’m old. And for me, an older person is at least 100!
Typically, I think we define “aging gracefully” in terms of physical attractiveness as the primary benchmark. We look at people (mostly celebrities) and judge them as “holding up nicely” or still looking beautiful or handsome as they age, especially when they reach that turning point age of 60 or so.
Case in point… I was watching Helen Mirren at this year’s Academy Awards and was struck by how absolutely stunning I thought she was “for a woman of her age.” Truly someone who was aging gracefully. And then we googled her and found out that she was only 65!
I’m sorry Helen Mirren…you’re waaaaaay too young for me to be talking about how you’re aging gracefully!!! I promise to wait at least another 10-15 years before commenting on it again for you.
And who didn’t start talking about Jane Fonda or Barbra Streisand at the Golden Globes or Academy Awards this year and do the same thing!?!
We appreciate people who still look good as they’re getting old(er). And we’re terribly disappointed when they don’t.
As a society, we do it more for women than we do for men. But men don’t get off the hook entirely. We still like them to retain a certain ruggedness or sophistication as they age. But there just isn’t as much pressure on them to retain their youthful appearance as there tends to be for women.
But it can’t just be about physical appearance. It has to include our behavior. Our style. Our actions in the world. The totality of who we are.
And so, I believe that aging gracefully must take practice. It must take years to perfect. You don’t begin to live gracefully once you reach a certain age. No, it has to be a natural continuation of a life lived with grace.
As Fred Astaire once said, “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.”
I’ve been wracking my brain about this one for the past week.
How am I supposed to know about aging gracefully?
I’m 25.
And even though my knees hurt when it’s damp out, I’m aware that I’m still fairly young.
(Though I recently learned that I’m too old to try out for The Real World.)
(It was mildly depressing.)
(Not that I WANT to audition for The Real World, but the fact that it’s now not even an OPTION? That’s just sad…)
So… I don’t know much about aging, let alone what makes it graceful.
Especially since “graceful” brings to mind royalty and dancers and actors and actresses who have been knighted by super fancy British people.
But, when I think about what it means to “age gracefully”, I think of the following:
Confidence – in who you are, in what you’ve done, in where you’re going, in how you’ll look getting there.
Pride – in yourself, the life that you’ve lead, and the life that you’re leading.
Acceptance – nothing is sadder than someone who thinks they’re 35 years younger than they are. I’m not saying “act your age”, but at some point, you have to add jeggings to the “Murtaugh List“.
Unbitterness – it’s (technically) not a word, but it needs to be on this list. Nothing kills “grace” faster than bitterness.
Then again, what do I know?
I’m just a kid.
