A mother. A daughter. A topic.
I never realized that writing routinely would be such a challenge. I’ve always enjoyed writing in the past, whether for work or for fun. Maybe, it’s because I knew what I was writing about, so it came easily. But writing articles for a blog on topics provided by others, has proven to be quite a challenge!
What on earth were Ally and I thinking when we decided to start this type of weekly blog together???
It takes every bit of self-discipline and more often than not, self-bribery, for me to sit down and write each week. Luckily, I respond well to my own bribery. Today I told myself that once I finish this post I’ll get that bracelet I saw the other day. The next post…a new pair of shoes. Maybe next week I’ll let myself have a piece of chocolate cake! It doesn’t take much. I’ll write for just about any kind of “stuff.” Jewelry, clothes, food…whatever.
I’m thinking maybe that makes me…a writing whore.
Or…an enterprising woman. Your call.
Writing on this blog however…is wonderful, because I get to do it with Ally. I LOVE IT.
I love being able to talk with her about the various topics we get from friends (YOU!) to write on. I love going off on my own to write, and then getting her reaction (which I hope beyond hope will be one of approval – OY!). And, I love being able to plan our next steps together for this venture. It is the most fun I’ve ever had writing in my life.
But it’s still challenging.
Now…I just have to figure out how to get Ally to give me some stuff for writing this blog!
I’m uncomfortable calling myself a writer. Call me a blogger, as it seems to take some of the pressure off. I write for fun. I write when I get the urge to. I write when my brain can’t hold in a story about a killer deer any longer. I think in blog posts. When I’m in a situation, especially if I’m left to my own thoughts, I think of how I would write about it. How I would space it on the page. What I would link to.
Writing when I HAVE to is tough. It’s painful to write when I’m not in the mood. It’s frustrating and not fun and everything that hits the page is terrible. At those times, even a quick email is difficult for me. But when it’s on… it’s ON.
“But Ally,” you may say, “you write about Lady Gaga and calling 14 year old girls serial killers (by accident), that doesn’t seem hard.” But it is. If I don’t want to write about those things, I can’t. My posts usually stew in my brain for at least a week before I’m ready to write them out. I made a deal with myself a while ago not to hit publish on something that I don’t love, and I only love things that I had a good time writing. (This is my excuse as to why I don’t post as much as I would prefer. Plus, I’m lazy.)
Lots of people have told me that I should keep a journal and write in it everyday. I have dozens of notebooks and diaries (because who doesn’t love a beautiful new notebook?) with only the first three pages written in it. The first page is usually dated January 1st, with promises of writing everyday. The next page is dated sometime in March. It’s just not my thing.
Like most things in life, starting is the hardest part. For these blog posts, I’ve taken to writing in a notebook. The blank screen of a computer is too hard to deal with. The blinking cursor mocks me. It’s too easy to delete shitty sentences, rather than just write. So I write with a pen and paper, and try not to care what comes out.
There have been times when writing has been a safe place for me. When I went to the Blissdom Conference in 2009, my blog saved me. It gave me a safe place. It allowed me to see the funny when I wasn’t comfortable. (The prescription drugs I took also helped, sure, but so did having my own place to share.)
I have a hard time thinking that I’m any good at this stuff. I hope I am, and as long as I have fun doing it (at least sometimes), I’ll keep doing it.
