A mother. A daughter. A topic.
Topic: If you won an Oscar, what would you say in your acceptance speech?
{ Topic submitted by Lindsay B. from Life Looking Up }
Cindy Thinks
Ally Thinks
I am thrilled but dumbfounded to be up here this evening as the winner of the “Best Cameo of a Mother in a Musical” academy award.
It was an absolute honor to be in the musical rendition of “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and stand next to the likes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie who were amazing in the title roles, and who sang and danced their ways into our hearts. And of course, to be in this movie, directed by the amazing Coen brothers…was beyond my wildest dreams!
Who would have thought that by just showing up to do a Cameo as a mother…in the middle of a musical, while simply wiggling my hips to the music, would get me this most coveted award!?!
Granted…I’ve worked tirelessly over the years to try to perfect the role, but still…I’m shocked.
Obviously, I could not have done this without the support of some wonderful people in my life, so a special thank you goes to…
My amazing cameo coach Miss Carol (who taught me to embrace the camera, while being ever so critical of the end result, even if it’s only for a Cameo);
To my wonderful musical coach ML (who never taught me how to sing…but rather suggested I keep my mouth shut and just learn to appreciate those who are talented enough to do so);
To the BEST fashion coach in the world…my son AJ (who has been advising me on the right shoes to wear with my outfits since he was a wee little lad);
To my hairdresser Kristy (who gave me that beautiful natural blonde hair you all saw in the Cameo shot – and continues to do so every few months),
and of course…
To my amazing Latin dance coach (every girl should have one!) Mateo (who painstakingly worked to bring out the wiggle in me).
And finally…I wouldn’t be the cameo mother that I am without the total support and coaching of my incredible daughter Ally…whose wit and wisdom and laser-like attention to all of the details in my life…helped me perfect the role in the first place.
THANK you to the academy. THANK you to the other lovely ladies in this category whom I’m honored to share this award (with a special nod to Elizabeth Taylor). And THANK you to all of the other cameo mothers out there who inspire me every day!
Ohmygod!!
I can’t believe this.
I mean, to win the Academy Award for Best Actress is an honor… but to win for my very first role… when Meryl Streep is in the running?
Wow…
(It’s okay, Meryl, I’ll buy you a drink at the Vanity Fair Party.)
When they approached me to play the role of Special Agent Alice McKinley, I was a little scared. Being my first acting gig, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to pull off the role of a crime fighting CIA agent / vampire.
But after I read the script that George Clooney wrote, and when I found out he was directing… I just couldn’t pass it up.
And when I found out that Neil Patrick Harris and I would be doing a musical number in it… written by the incredible Lady Gaga?
Well, that’s the dream, isn’t it?
So thank you George, Neil, and… Lady(?).
I also have to tha- STOP PLAYING THE MUSIC -nk my co-stars, Johnny Depp, Robert Downey, Jr., Jude Law, and Sandra Bullock – where are you Sandy? – I truly love and appreciate all of you.
I must thank my amazing family. Mike, Dad, AJ: you’re my biggest fans, and I love you so much. I’ll be buying you all houses on the continent of your choice after this!
And of course, my agent, my mentor, my mother. I couldn’t have done this without you, Mom!! You got me this job, and my next job, playing the infamous Mother on How I Met Your Mother. I’m buying you TWO houses on EVERY continent!
WAIT! Before you kick me off, one more!!
Finally, thank you to the Academy. I don’t know who you are, where you’re from, or what you do, but I am thrilled to be up here, and even more thrilled to find out that this award is actually made of chocolate filled with caramel.
This night just can’t get any better!
OH WAIT! I won best dressed? For wearing a sundress that I got at Target? On clearance? I’m just… speechless!
If my life was a movie, I would like to think that it would be a musical. A light, airy, funny, neat but quirky little story laced with wonderful singing and dancing. The kind that plasters a big smile on your face when you get up to leave the theater and has you humming at least one of the tunes all the way to your car.
Not that I actually ever sing (or hum). Because I was told at the age of 10 that I couldn’t sing by my 5th grade choir teacher, and I never really tried again.
But I do dance. And I think that should qualify me for musical status.
But musicals are oh so much more than just singing and dancing. They present a view of the world that gives us hope and joy and there’s always some sort of lesson to be learned through the story….like…
Lesson #1: A boy and girl can find each other and be happy happy happy.
Lesson #2: You can get the bad guys and they will get what they deserve.
Lesson #3: The world is a better place when we hold hands and,
Lesson #4: If we pull together, we CAN put on a show!
I love the idea of defining my life with that kind of optimistic outlook on the world, where seemingly insurmountable problems get resolved and all of the characters end up better off than they were before.
I mean, WHY NOT?
Why not sing and dance through life? Why not have happy endings (and beginnings and middles)? Why not belt out a show stopping tune that tells everyone to Stop Raining on Your Parade?
I know musicals tend not to be taken seriously, but in terms of how to live a life…it sure is a lot better than being a suspense thriller, or an intense drama. I mean how scary and exhausting would that be!?!
The thing that trips me up on this one though is that we all tend to think of musicals as being rooted in fantasy (Brigadoon anyone!?). And I don’t actually consider my life to be fantasy based at all. Rather, I believe I’m a realist. I just like a little light-heartedness with my reality. And a lot of music, and dance, and humor and passion and goodness. All ingredients for a well rounded musical.
This isn’t a new thing for me. I was raised watching musicals. And I raised my children to watch and appreciate them as well. We used to go to see every Broadway musical we could, some on Broadway…some at our local dinner theater. But we saw them all.
So imagine my delight when a real life (in a matter of speaking) musical came to TV.
I’m talking about GLEE.
Unlike the old fashioned musicals, where everyone breaks into song mid-sentence for no apparent reason…there really is a reason for these kids to be singing and dancing.
They’re in the Glee Club.
And they make it cool.
And OMG the talent! Invariably one of the characters will sing some amazing song at some point in the show that ALWAYS makes me smile (or cry). And when the show is over, it makes me feel like the world is a better place.
Sometimes I think how cool it would be to ACTUALLY have my life BECOME a musical. I think it would be amazing to be able to break out in song when something disappoints me, or when something great happens, and have it be acceptable behavior.
But then I remember…I really can’t sing.
Oh well. I can still dream and I still have Glee.
I think that some people want their lives to be like a really serious movie. Like the kind where there’s no soundtrack and it’s super tense and uncomfortable and it’s only available in limited release in New York City.
Am I one of these people? Not so much.
Like most people’s lives, mine is mostly mundane. Also like most people, if my life were a movie, it would be lots of different genres.
All of us have a little bit of everything in our lives. For the most part, we live a life that nobody would want to watch a movie about. It’s boring and repetitive and there’s nothing really compelling about it, at least to anyone else.
But we all have those moments that are insanely comedic, or incredibly dramatic, or straight out of a love story (or a love tragedy).
Some of us have horrible things happen. Things that should stay firmly in the realm of disturbing entertainment.
But the theme throughout my life – thankfully – has been comedy. I can look back on almost everything, and see the funny in it.
I’ve been really lucky because my life has been incredibly easy going with little reason to complain. But even those few dramatic and crappy moments have taught me that seeing the comedy in every situation is the key to survival.
To be honest, and accurate, my life is probably best classified as a “dark comedy”: full of humor that makes others slightly uncomfortable and things that very few people find funny except for me.
But that’s my favorite kind of funny.
The only thing I truly wish for is that my life life in general was like a musical. Or at least like an episode of “Glee”. Then, when the bad shit happens, at least I could go into a well-choreographed routine while singing some amazing song from my favorite band or musical.
(Who wants to sing a song from Wicked with me?)
I mean, how many times have you wished you could belt out “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and have everyone look at you and think, “Man, that girl can sing… and I’m totally not going to mess with her anymore.”’
(Just me?)
(Liars.)
But other than the lack of singing and dancing, I’m pretty happy to accept that my life is totally and completely hilarious.
(PS: WAIT. I lied. If I could, I would live on Pandora.)
(PPS: As long as there’s singing.)