Archive for: October 2010

Topic: How will you survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

Cindy Thinks

Ally Thinks

Screw zombies, it doesn’t matter what kind of apocalypse we’re in for, because I’m ready.  I have a fully stocked pantry with hundreds of canned goods, tons of extra water, enough toilet paper to last at least 6 months and a lifetime supply of chocolate, ‘cause really, who wants to stick around without toilet paper or chocolate?

No…I’m not a doomsday kinda gal, it’s just that I like to be prepared.

And I’m not the only one thinking about this stuff.  As I’m sure you’re aware, we’re only a couple of years away from the famed end of the Mayan calendar (December, 2012), which many believe marks the end of civilization as we know it.  I never thought about it much, but then I watched a multi-part special last year on the History Channel and it got me thinking about the possibilities of life ending on earth.

I mean…I really don’t believe it will all end on 12/21/2012, but after watching that show, I did find myself having an irresistible urge to run out to the store to buy a case of canned soup.

Honestly though, I don’t think the Mayans knew something we don’t know.  I think they just figured they had created a big enough template for us to follow…and we would be able to take it from here.  Or they just ran out of stone.

But nonetheless…it makes you wonder.

I mean…what will you be doing as we get closer to December, 2012?  Will you be worried?  Will you be stocking up on canned goods?  Water?  Toilet Paper? Chocolate?

Well I know I’ll be ready…and I’ll be doing it in style!

I recently bought some property down in Ridgway Colorado (just outside of Telluride, CO) which I must say, is one of the most beautiful places on earth.  The mountains, the valley, the people…are all amazing.

And…I just started building on it so that I can live there part of the year, and play host to my family and friends…’cause it’s a place ya just gotta share.

So I figure I’ll share it with a few dozen carefully chosen people for the end of the Mayan Calendar (and potentially…the end of civilization as we know it).

But we’re not gonna sit around waiting for the end.   WE’RE GONNA PARTY!!

Because it ALSO just happens to be my “triple 12 birthday” (12-12-12)…and I figure that calls for one big 12 day party!!!

And if it does all end, then we go happily, and probably…really really drunk.  With plenty of canned goods, water, toilet paper and chocolate in the pantry.

Unfortunately though, I’ll have to limit how many people can come to my party (because I just don’t have enough canned soup to feed everyone).

So I came up with a process for selecting who will be part of the chosen few…with some ground rules (’cause you always need ground rules):

1.    Applications for the now infamous 12-12-12 bash will be accepted beginning 6-12-12.

2.    A written test including just a few select multiple choice questions and an essay explaining why you should be part of the chosen few (no more than 500 words please) will be included as part of the application process.

3.    Bribes will be accepted (along with donations of canned soup).

God I hope civilization doesn’t end before then…it would really screw up my plans.

I think it’s awesome how we all assume that when the zombie apocalypse happens we’ll be fighting the zombies, and not become one ourselves.  Statistically, most of us will have to be the actual yucky, undead daemons for it to be considered an apocalypse (at least I assume so), so odds are that if you’re reading this, you’ll be craving brains at some point.


Personally, I think I’ll be made into a zombie fairly early on.  I don’t like confrontation and I’m not in shape at all, so I’d be easy to catch.  I accept that my chances of surviving for very long are pretty slim.

(What?  I’m being realistic.)

So I think I would just give myself up to the brain eating devils as quickly and as painlessly as possible.  Maybe I’ll get really intoxicated and just go to sleep on the front lawn and hope the zombies do a quick job at transforming me…

Because really?  I don’t think that I want to spend my days hiding in my house and chasing zombies off of my front lawn with a knife or gun.

Besides, I’m not allowed to wield weapons.

(Mike believes that I’ll injure myself every time I cut a tomato for dinner, so I’m going to assume that using a machete to cut off the head of a zombie won’t be allowed…)

(Just so you all know, I’m open to suggestions for weapon alternatives.  We’re all going to be in this together, people, so it’s no time to keep your tactics a secret.)

Now, if I could get to a place without zombies (preferably some sort of fort or underground lair designed by my mother), I would probably invest in some serious weapon training.  Maybe I wouldn’t be able to hire a personal trainer or my own Sensei (because the strongest of our kind will all be fighting to save the world… or they’ll be dead… or undead?…), but I assume the Internet will have a plethora of helpful blogs and videos by that point.

(Oh wait.  There’s already plenty of information out there.  Of course.)

The way I see it: geeks love zombies, and geeks get shit done on the Internet, so I guarantee there will be a Wiki up in no time.

(OH MY GOD.  That also already exists. We all have no excuse if we’re unprepared.)

Hell, maybe I’ll get in shape…

(Except probably not.  It’s going to take a lot more than a violent apocalypse to get me to start running on a regular basis.)

What I’d really need is a kick-ass outfit.

(Priorities, people.)

I’m thinking something flattering, functional, comfortable, and easy to clean (because killing zombies is a super messy business).  BUT, even if I were one of the BEST zombie killers EVER (and let’s face it, with the right training… actually, I’ll most likely still be useless regardless of my training…), I probably wouldn’t actively seek out zombies.  I’d leave the mass destruction of them up to the government or ninjas or Woody Harrelson.

Instead, I’d hide myself away with a good book and lots of cupcakes.

(If the world is ending, dieting will NOT be my priority.)

(Note to self: make kick-ass outfit baggy and in slimming colors.)

Actually, I think that I would just be happy deferring all survival responsibilities to someone else.

(Hi Mom!)

PS: I’m inviting The Bloggess to Ridgway, because she’s our only hope.  Well, her and Mr. Harrelson…

Topic: Undergarments (+ Giveaway!)

{ Giveaway from Yummie Tummie. Details below. }

Cindy Thinks

Ally Thinks

Until recently (I swear!) I had no idea there was such a plethora of undergarments available to women.

And now that I know, I am SOLD!

And quite frankly…I don’t know how I lived without them for so many years!  You can literally transform your body in any number of ways using hundreds of new body shaping garments.  I swear there’s one for every conceivable shaping need or want for your body.

You can lift, separate or push together your breasts using strapped, strapless, wired, no wire, padded, unpadded, plunging, high profiled, lacy or plain bras.

You can push up your tush, flatten it, round it out, or add to it.  You can flatten your tummy, cinch in your waist, and slim your thighs.  And…you can do only one of these things at a time, use different combinations at the same time, or pick one of those handy dandy multi-shaping garments that focus on specific “target” areas to provide you with an All Over shaped body.

Or so I thought.

Recently, we had a Bar Mitzvah to attend and several women in the family (well…really just me, one of my cousins, and, at times, a reluctant Ally) were consumed by discussions of which undergarments were available and would be PERFECT for each of our outfits.  We spent hours on the phone, texting or emailing different styles, brands and configurations of undergarments as we each shopped and explored what was available to meet our needs.

Clearly…we had way too much time on our hands.

I planned to wear a lovely black dress with a shocking pink liner (from my closet – woohoo!) that had a form fitting bodice (that’s body shaping terminology for “upper body”) which required (in order for it to fit me properly) something that would cinch in my waist and hold in my tummy.

BUT…I also needed something to push up these ever lowering breasts (NO…they are NOT drooping yet thank you very much!) so they would peak over the fabric to give a hint of cleavage (realizing that this look would be acceptable for both the synagogue and the after party).

THEN…I wanted to lift and smooth my tush so that the fabric of the dress would lay seamlessly in that area, while slimming my thighs and still allowing the dress to swirl effortlessly on the dance floor.

SO… I decided to look for one of those multi-area shaping garments that target different areas of your body to meet all of my body shaping needs in one fell swoop.

No problem…until I went shopping.

Apparently, the undergarment makers of the world like to focus on two, MAYBE three “target” areas on the body at one time…but usually not six.

No such luck.

But, being the resourceful person that I am, I came up with the amazing idea to COMBINE undergarments to cover all of my needs.  I mean, is that brilliant or what?

So I went looking for bra to lift me up, a corset-like thing to cinch in my waist, and a full (really full) panty to lift up and smooth out my tush, hold in my tummy and slim down my thighs.

I am pleased to report I found all three!

But when I put them all on together…I couldn’t move.  And I looked like I was wearing Body Armor.  And, bending was a complete impossibility.  And, breathing was more than difficult.  And…here comes the deal breaker…dancing would have been totally out of the question.

So I took them all off and started to negotiate with myself.  It was clear that I couldn’t wear all 3 pieces at the same time, so I decided I had to pick the most important parts to shape for the event.

OMG!  Which parts are more important for a dressy event?  The tummy?  The tight cinched-in waist? The peaking cleavage?  The raised and smooth tush?  Slim thighs?

I ask you…can being a woman be any more challenging??

I ended up finding two items that successfully achieved some significant body shaping in 4 out of the 6 areas (no, I’m not telling which ones).  And I was happy…enough.  But I wasn’t comfortable.  But that didn’t bother me because according to the rules my mother laid out for me when I was young and impressionable: dressing for an event is not supposed to be about comfort.  So I didn’t expect to be comfortable.

But that’s just wrong.  Why shouldn’t we be both beautiful AND comfortable!?!

Well…I’m happy to tell you that now we can be both.

After the Bar Mitzvah, Ally introduced me to an undergarment (by Yummie Tummie) that she found awhile ago that she loved!  Then they sent me one!  It hits at least 5 of my target areas (no I’m not telling you which one it doesn’t touch) and is pretty damn comfortable and pretty.

I practically live in it.


*Note: Let’s be clear.  Part of my enthusiasm in finding the perfect body shaper is that I really thought I could get that perfect looking body without doing a damn thing on my own to make it happen.  I mean seriously…why else would I go through all the trouble to bolster my body in all that armor?  Answer: so I could get the look without doing any of the work!  And…I don’t think I’m alone here…but we all know it doesn’t really work that way.  Damn it.

I’m not going to talk about regular old bras and panties.  Yes, they’re necessary, sometimes they’re fun to shop for, and sometimes they’re incredibly annoying.  Instead, I’m talking about the kind of undergarments that promise that you’ll look 10 pounds thinner by wearing them.

You know how they promise that? They suck you in and don’t let go.  Sure, you can’t sit down or take a deep breath, and your ribs are probably permanently bruised, but damn it, you look good.

Recently, I needed one of these magic pieces of clothing to wear underneath a little black cocktail dress.  I ventured to a department store and grabbed half a dozen different types of “shapewear”.  Some were slips the length of the dress, some were just bottoms, others were corset style tops.

I took a deep breath (because it’s physically necessary), and started with one of the corsets.  You’re supposed to step into these things, and then shimmy them up into place.  Did you notice I said “supposed to”?  Can you guess why you’re supposed to do the step and shimmy?

I do.

It’s because if you try and put the things over your head, you’ll end up like me, standing in a department store dressing room, with half of my head sticking out through the top, my arms pinned together at the elbows, my wrists flopping around in front of my face.  And you, like me, will think of a variety of options that you then have.

The initial panic that set in told me to just rip the damn thing in half.  I could either swallow my pride and bring it to the cashier and pay for it, or throw my clothes back on, brush my hair in front of my face, throw the stupid thing in a ball on the floor and run for it.

I didn’t appreciate either of those options, so I thought about an alternative.  I could call for help. I can’t have been the first person to get stuck in one of those things.  In fact, something like the following should be on the job application for any store with these types of undergarments:

“A sales associate in this department must have excellent customer service skills, superior organizational skills, and be willing to help customers who find themselves immobilized by our merchandise, with little damage to the product or patron.”

Thankfully, I didn’t have to do that.  Instead, I was able to claw my way out of the damn thing with no damage to the devil piece of clothing and minimal damage to me.  I had a pretty sizable bruise on my left arm, and almost popped my shoulder out of its socket in the process, but overall, I survived.

I ended up buying something, but hated the way it squeezed me so hard that my internal organs were in danger of rupturing.

And then I went BlogHer 2010, and an awesome party called Socialluxe, where I met the crew from Yummie Tummie.  The founder, Heather Thomson, was there, telling us all about her company.  She said that her products are different because they work without being uncomfortable.  Sure, I thought, I don’t believe that for one second.  But, when they offered to send me one of their products for free, I jumped on the offer. 

(Of course.)

When one of their employees asked if I wanted a tank top or a pair of briefs, I asked which would be better for my little black dress.  “Oh!  This is what you need,” she said as she handed me a beautiful little undergarment that was a top and bottom together.  She said she’d get it to me in a few weeks.  Later, when I reached out to them on Twitter saying that my dress needed to be worn sooner than I thought, they sent it overnight to me.


The Teddie is beautiful, it smooths everything out, but it never feels like body armor.  It made me look hot, and it gave me a much needed confidence boost (which, really, is why I forced myself into the other items in the first place).  Since I received the Teddie, I’ve bought the Original Tank for myself, and wear it all the time.  It’s great to layer with, and my internal organs don’t feel like they’re shifting when I wear it.

AND, all of their clothes come with a little tag telling you how to put it on, so I have yet to get stuck.


Now, my wish list for the holidays is full of Yummie Tummie products.

(Hint, hint.)

Topic: Procrastination

Cindy Thinks

Ally Thinks

I SWORE out loud – to myself, that I would NOT put off writing this week’s post to the last minute.  I mean come on…you can see what the topic is.  I made a pact with myself when Ally and I agreed to write on Procrastination at the beginning of the week, that I would not (absolutely not) fall into the trap of putting this task off until the last minute.  As I usually do.  Every week.

It is now Sunday afternoon…and I have 4 hours before Ally will send me her reminder text that my post is due.  So I’m still HOURS ahead of the game!

I’m such a procrastinator.  I know I do it, and it bugs me to do it.  But I can’t help it.

I blame my father.

He was the “King” of procrastination and I think he must have genetically passed it on to me.

At first glance, you’d never know that he was a procrastinator because he would write extensive lists detailing out all the tasks he had to accomplish every week.  He would write out each task in bold large printed letters – all in neat and numbered rows on a yellow legal pad, and label his list “Things to Do” at the top of the page.

And then he would move onto whatever else he could possibly spend his time doing…OTHER than those things on the list.

It’s not that he was lazy.  On the contrary, he was extremely successful and busy all the time.  He just seemed to have an absolute aversion to doing things he knew he had to do…until the very last minute.

Which I think is the definition of someone who procrastinates.  It’s not that we don’t get stuff done, it’s just that we want to do it on our own damn timeline!!

In this regard, I am my dad.

I too make lists.  I too title them “Things to Do.”  And I too have a long history of putting things off until the last minute.

But unlike my dad, I like crossing things off my list…a lot.

So I’ve learned to use my desire (no…obsession) to cross things off my list as a way to balance my genetic tendency to procrastinate.

And I do it by playing a sick little game with myself.

Every week I write my list of Things to Do, and each day I go about my business of getting stuff done.  At the end of the week I go back to my list to see if I just happen to have completed anything I had written down.  If so…VOILA!…it gets crossed off the list and I am thrilled.

If not, (here’s the sick part)…I add the stuff I did do, just so I can cross it off!

Case in Point.

This week’s list.

Here’s how it went…

Things To Do:

1.     Write my blog post on Procrastination

2.     Clean out the basement closet

3.     Reorganize all of the Xmas decorations from the past 25 years

4.     Figure out all of the furnishings for the house I’m building (all 8 rooms)

5.     Clean the backyard and prep for fall/winter

6.     Take all 4 dogs to the vet for required shots

Things I actually did:

1.     Fed the dogs – twice a day…each day!

2.     Folded all of my laundry…from last week.

3.     Shredded paperwork from the box titled Important papers 2006

4.     Made my bed – each morning.

5.     Made chicken salad.

Now my list looks like this:

1.     Write my blog post on Procrastination

2.     Clean out the basement closet

3.     Reorganize all of the Xmas decorations from the past 25 years

4.     Figure out all of the furnishings for the house I’m building (all 8 rooms)

5.     Clean the backyard and prep for fall/winter

6.     Take all 4 dogs to the vet for required shots

7. Fed the dogs – twice a day…each day!

8. Folded all of my laundry…from last week.

9. Shredded paperwork from the box titled – Important papers 2006

10. Made my bed – each morning.

11. Made chicken salad.

It’s now almost 1:00 on Sunday afternoon and I’m done writing this post…3 whole hours ahead of schedule!   And now, I get to cross #1 off my list!

I’m thrilled.

And I’m thrilled to be my father’s daughter.

Wednesday: Oh my god, we should write about procrastination.

Friday: Mike: “You should really write your post.”

Saturday: I’ll do it tomorrow.

Sunday: I’ll write it after I have breakfast.

I check Twitter.

I make a grocery list.

I look for a recipe for soup online.

I forget to eat breakfast.

I clean out the refrigerator.

I put the dishes away from the dishwasher.

I load the dishwasher.

There’s dust on this table… I should probably dust this table.

I dust all of the tables.

I eat something and watch some TV.

I keep watching.

Where did the last hour and half go?

I sit down and start this post.

Mike pulls up and I help him unload the groceries, because I’m super helpful.

I pet Bonnie.

I pet Hannah.

Bonnie and Hannah are super cute.

I sit down at the computer.

I start to type but WAIT, I should check Twitter.

I watch this video.

I watch it again.


I check Facebook.

(You should like us on Facebook.)


I clean my nails.

I should water that plant.

I water the plant… thoroughly.

I pet Hannah.

I check Twitter.

I apply a new background to my Twitter profile, because I’ve been putting it off.

I should try to write again, but now I have a headache.  I should take some aspirin… and drink some water.  I’m probably dehydrated.  Is aspirin bad for you?

I should Google that…

I don’t Google it.  Instead, I Google possible reasons my head hurts.

Now I think I have a tumor.

I should turn the computer off.  I should go lie down.  I should pet Bonnie and Hannah.

I should write my post about procrastination


I look up the baby panda sneezing.

I watch it two three seven times.  (Silly panda.)

I decide to read Mom’s post for inspiration.


Now I want chicken salad.

I don’t have chicken salad, but I have chips and queso!!

I watch football.

I don’t even like football.

I don’t have a headache anymore.  Apparently QUESO CURES BRAIN TUMORS.

I’m sitting down to write but, damn it, I have to pee.  JUST as I was really starting to get into the groove… Well, you really shouldn’t put peeing off.  That’s how you get an infection.

I should wash these towels.

I put the towels in the wash.

I should do some homework…

Eh, I’ll just write my post about procrastination.

Well, maybe after I…

NEXT WEEK: Repeat.