She Thinks

I am thrilled but dumbfounded to be up here this evening as the winner of the “Best Cameo of a Mother in a Musical” academy award.

It was an absolute honor to be in the musical rendition of “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and stand next to the likes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie who were amazing in the title roles, and who sang and danced their ways into our hearts.  And of course, to be in this movie, directed by the amazing Coen brothers…was beyond my wildest dreams!

Who would have thought that by just showing up to do a Cameo as a mother…in the middle of a musical, while simply wiggling my hips to the music, would get me this most coveted award!?!

Granted…I’ve worked tirelessly over the years to try to perfect the role, but still…I’m shocked.

Obviously, I could not have done this without the support of some wonderful people in my life, so a special thank you goes to…

My amazing cameo coach Miss Carol (who taught me to embrace the camera, while being ever so critical of the end result, even if it’s only for a Cameo);

To my wonderful musical coach ML (who never taught me how to sing…but rather suggested I keep my mouth shut and just learn to appreciate those who are talented enough to do so);

To the BEST fashion coach in the world…my son AJ (who has been advising me on the right shoes to wear with my outfits since he was a wee little lad);

To my hairdresser Kristy (who gave me that beautiful natural blonde hair you all saw in the Cameo shot – and continues to do so every few months),

and of course…

To my amazing Latin dance coach (every girl should have one!) Mateo (who painstakingly worked to bring out the wiggle in me).

And finally…I wouldn’t be the cameo mother that I am without the total support and coaching of my incredible daughter Ally…whose wit and wisdom and laser-like attention to all of the details in my life…helped me perfect the role in the first place.

THANK you to the academy.  THANK you to the other lovely ladies in this category whom I’m honored to share this award (with a special nod to Elizabeth Taylor).  And THANK you to all of the other cameo mothers out there who inspire me every day!

I almost bailed on this topic as I was really struggling to come up with any bad habits.

(Cause I’m just such a wonderful person.)

Or…I can’t keep focused long enough to think about any bad stuff about myself.

So I asked Ally.

I left her a voicemail saying that I was having a really hard time and needed her to tell me what bad habits I had.  (I figured they’d just roll off her tongue!)

Apparently, my message must have come off as somewhat needy with a high pitched voice, because she texted me back:

“Just got your message…be sure to add whining to the list.”

So I whine.  But only when I don’t get what I want…when I want it.

And I guess that’s a bad habit.

I also leave the TV on for the dogs when I’m not home.

I don’t really expect them to watch it, but somehow I feel like the noise of human voices coming out of the box on the wall will provide comfort to them in my absence.

But I know it doesn’t.  They could care less.  It just makes me feel better about leaving them.

And I know it’s a really bad habit because it totally wastes energy.

But I don’t stop.  I left it on for them tonight when I went out for dinner …as I was adding it to my list of bad habits.

And I waste water too.

I take really long showers and I leave the water running in the sink when I brush my teeth.

I know it’s wrong and wasteful, but I just let that water run and run and run (and please note… I am very clean).

And finally…

I use an enormous amount of tissues in any given day.

I wad them up in my pants, stuff them in my shirt cuffs (YES…like an 80 year old woman), shove a dozen or so loose tissues into my purse, and stash tons of them in every coat pocket in my closet.

The actual possession of tissues is not by itself a bad habit…no…it’s the mixture of the used and unused pieces that causes me to sift through them all seeking the most unused one…that I’d say is the bad part of the habit.

But I don’t stop.

I’m a waster.  And a mixer.

And now I have a whole new group of pet peeves (about me this time) that I can’t stand.

I should be shot.

I think there’s a difference between “romance” and “romantic.”

To me, “romantic” refers to a moment in time.  An act that somehow conjures up visions of low lighting (candles maybe), roof top dinners (not that I’ve EVER experienced that), flowers (unexpectedly arriving with a loving note) or a presentation of a small, unmarked box with something sparkly inside (along with some low lighting and music in the background perhaps?).

It’s an expression of our love that happens at a specific time and place as in “we went out for a candlelit dinner last night and it was so romantic.”  Or…”he got me flowers every day last week”…”he’s soooo romantic.”

It’s when one person goes out of their way to set up a situation that says…”this is all about you.”  It makes us feel all warm inside with the knowledge that we’ve just been wrapped up tight in someone else’s admiration (adoration/love/wanting) of us…combining surprise, attention to detail and even ambience.

It’s romantic.

Now romance is a different thing for me all together.

It’s a process.  It happens over time.

It’s the act of being in love.    Like a constant state of being wooed, and wooing the other person, even after each has gotten comfortable with the other.

It’s about maintaining the flirt.

The blush.

The giggle.

The anticipation.

As I think back on it…I believe my parents lived a life of romance.  They believed in being in love.  Never taking each other for granted.  Keeping it fresh and alive.  Always flirting.

Don’t get me wrong…they had their ups and downs, their times when daily life overwhelmed them…but they would come out on the other side even more in love and exuding even more romance because (I think) they got through it together.

So I know it can happen.  But it’s not typical.

We usually refer to the beginning of our relationships as the time of our romance.  When we didn’t know each other well enough to take each other for granted…and were still trying to impress each other so that we could spend more time exploring one another.

That’s the exciting time.  It’s fresh.  It’s new.

But once we’ve gone through the hunt and landed our prey, we tend to let it go. (And I mean that in the most romantic way possible.)

But imagine what it would be like if we tried to maintain the romance.

If we kept up the flirt.

If we created situations where we didn’t quite know what to expect (and I’m not talking about going to a bar and pretending you don’t know each other).

If we infused a certain amount of surprise into our relationship…on an ongoing basis.

If we set up romantic moments other than just on Valentine’s Day.

IMAGINE what our long-term relationships would be like.

We might even blush with excitement like it was all fresh and new.  OY.

For me that’s romance.