She Thinks

Davy Jones from the Monkee’s.

Hands down.

I absolutely loved him.

{Isn’t he beautiful????  I can hardly stand it. (Full disclosure: Ally picked this picture and wrote this caption.  This is what happens when Cindy won’t learn how to add pictures herself.)}

He had the sweetest face and really thick brown hair…and the cutest British accent I had ever heard.

OK…it was actually the first British accent I had ever heard.

My very first album was The Monkee’s (from my wonderful brother) and I think I probably listened to it 300 times in the first month that I got it, all the while daydreamin’ about running off in the middle of the night to get married to Davy!

I was 10.

I thought he was the only one for me.

I also thought that it was totally romantic to run off with someone in the middle of the night.

(Now I just want a good night’s sleep)

By the age of 10 ½ … I was over him.

And then I totally fell in love with Chip Douglas (the middle brother) on My Three Sons.  In actuality, I REALLY loved Robby Douglas (the oldest brother) but had to think rationally at the time and admit that he was just too old for me (I was 10 ½ and he must have been close to 16 on the show).  So I settled for Chip.

{I don’t know which one my Mom hearts the most.  I like the doggie. – Ally}

Then I turned 11 and heard the Album “Revolver” by The Beatles and I only had eyes for Paul McCartney.

{FINALLY, I kinda get this one… – Ally}

And that was pretty much it until I turned 45.

That’s right…over 30 years with the same celebrity crush.  Me and about a million other women my age.

And then I fell for George Clooney…

And I’m stopping now, ‘cause I’m way too old to have celebrity crushes any more.

Just don’t tell George I’ve given up on him.

{We all know how beautiful George is, so here’s a BABY PANDA!!  Mom, you really need to upload your own pictures.  You have only yourself to blame. – Ally}

At different times in my adult life, vacations were designed for different purposes.

And let me begin by saying that I’ve been incredibly fortunate throughout my life to have had both the time and the resources to go on some amazing vacations.

When the kids were young, it was all about seeing new and exciting places and building memories of special times together.  Whether it meant a trip to Washington DC to visit the museums, a week at a Disney Theme Park, or camping in the beautiful Rocky Mountains…it was all about exposure and memories.

Living in Boulder, Colorado we can get quite insular.  We don’t have a lot of diversity here.  So it’s easy to forget that there are many different types of people, with different cultures and viewpoints making up the world.  So I always felt it was important that we make an effort to travel around in order to expand our understanding of the world we live in.

When the kids were young, I thought of vacations as an opportunity to learn.  Yes…it was also about fun.  But when you’re raising kids, it’s also about seeing new things and learning about our history, different cultures (even within the same State!), and the vast beauty of our country.

We’d start months in advance and I’d get the kids involved in the planning process as much as possible.   We’d get out maps, read books on the locations we’d be going to and talk about what we hoped to do.

We’d also start with a work chart about 2 months ahead of a vacation.  The kids would earn .25 for each chore they’d complete, and by the time we’d leave on vacation, they’d have earned anywhere from $35-$50 (each) to spend along the way.

It was a great strategy.

Brian and I never had to ask the kids to do anything around the house leading up to a trip (Woohoo – they actually wanted to do chores so they could earn $$) and…once we were on vacation, they never asked us for anything.

None of the typical “Mommy…can I have that T-shirt/sweatshirt/banner/poster/etc?”

Instead, they would count their money and decide if they really wanted an item (or not) and would end up being incredibly frugal along the way.  It was HEAVEN!

During those early years, our vacations were also about balance.  A bit of activity, a bit of rest, and a bit of adventure.  As long as the kids were happy…we were happy.  And, as any parent knows, their happiness was based on maintaining that balance.  If we screwed with the balance, they’d quickly deteriorate into cranky, unhappy children.  And that…would not make for an ideal vacation for anyone!

As the kids got older, our ideal vacations became more about exploring the world.  We’d venture farther and experience more.  Whether it was a 3 week RV trip up through Canada, or across the Atlantic to destinations in Europe – each vacation was jammed packed with new adventures and explorations of new cultures.

Those vacations were “active.”  We did a lot.  We saw a lot.  And…still trying to maintain some level of balance (this time because mommy and daddy would get cranky if we didn’t), we would also fit in a couple of quiet days to just enjoy our surroundings.

Now…as I take more vacations on my own (without the kids I mean) I love those restful, quiet, sit by the pool kind of vacations.  Oh I still like a bit of adventure once in awhile.  But honestly…I’m really good with going to one place and just hanging out.

When I’m in the mood to both explore and relax however, my ideal vacation is a cruise.  I get to unpack once, see a bunch of places, eat well, dance a lot and still have some time to sit by the pool and hang out with a good book and a great fruity rum drink.

I’m really curious how it will be when the house in Ridgway is complete though (we’re about 50% of the way through that project).  Will I still want to travel?  Or will I feel like I have to “use” that house now that I have it?

I think I’ll figure out the balance…and still do a bit of both.

But I mean really…either way…it’s all ideal!

As we just celebrated Mother’s Day, Ally and I thought it would be appropriate (and nice) to think about what my mother’s (and her grandmother’s) have taught each of us.  My mom…Del, and my “other mother”…Stella (Brian’s mom), both died within the past two years.

Both of them were a big deal in our lives.

And , both of them taught us a lot.

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I was incredibly lucky to have these two very dynamic mothers in my life.  Both women taught me more by example than through any form of lecture or instruction.  Neither was the type of woman who demanded or directed, but instead encouraged me, held my hand in good times and in bad, and helped guide me toward becoming the woman I am today.

(So if you don’t like me…blame them)

Ahhh…but it’s not that easy… Damn it.

I know I have to take responsibility for who am I (which is one of the things they both taught me).

Damn it.

But they also taught me all kinds of other things, like…

It’s important to become an independent woman:

My mom taught me that independence was about developing your own opinions and being able to stand on your own two feet and take care of yourself, even though (ironically), she was happiest in her dependence on my dad.

Stella taught me to embrace my independent spirit, and yet, don’t be afraid to lean on those who love and care about you.

Be fearless when choosing a career:

My mom didn’t worked outside the home while I was growing up, but was tireless in her encouragement of me to find a career that would challenge my mind and tap into my personal skills.  She taught me that there were many paths I could take, as long as they led in a direction that would allow me to learn and grow along the way.

Stella taught me that no matter how old you are, you can make a contribution to others through work or volunteering.  Shortly after Brian and I were married, Stella went back to work (full time) at the age of 60 in a job that required her to learn a whole new technology (automatic typewriters were just coming into vogue back then).   She was never so vibrant or as happy as she was in that job.  It helped her gain a whole new level of self confidence…and opened up a whole new group of friends that would be with her the rest of her life.

You’ve got to ENJOY your children:

My mom taught me to be a disciplinarian (good manners were a must!) but not to forget to have fun with my kids.  She believed that humor built the strongest ties (with your children…or anyone for that matter).   And spending any time with her…meant a time filled with stories and laughter…and fun.

Stella was also a stickler for good manners, but taught me that there was always time to play a game, work on a project or sing a song with your kids, and if it didn’t seem like you had the time…it was up to you to figure out a way to find it.

Love completes you:

My mom loved her family more than life itself…but she had only one true romantic love.  My dad.  She taught me that love completes you, but be cautious and judicious about who you love.

Stella taught me to be open to love people of all ages, and from every walk of life.  She truly loved her friends and family, and more often than not…her friends became her family.

~~~~~~~~~~

I know that a day doesn’t go by without some life lesson becoming apparent that I learned from one of these two mothers.

They added so much to life and I miss them more than anyone could know.

And luckily, I now have another mother in my life who offers me all of the love and encouragement I could ever hope for (thank you Mary!).  And…I continue to learn from her as well.

What a lucky woman I am to have such wonderful mothers in my life to offer me such wisdom.

Happy Mother’s Day to my mom – Del, to Stella and to Mary.

Thank you for all the lessons you’ve taught me.