I don’t make Resolutions anymore.

I used to. I used to make them in earnest and work really hard at following through on them, but I always peetered out after about, oh like 10 days, and would then feel like an utter failure.

So I stopped.

Because I HATE to fail.

And it was a stupid thing to do to myself.

But I DO like to set goals and accomplish things, so now I wait about 10 days until the resolution hubbub dies down and then I figure out what I want to accomplish for the foreseeable future, and set out to do those things.

But they’re NOT resolutions.

They’re just things I put on the calendar to get done (or get to do).

I’m ALL ABOUT putting things on the calendar.

I’ve come to understand that unless I make a date (plan, commitment, pledge – whatever you want to call it) to do something, the days and weeks and months will pass by aimlessly, and I’ll find that I forgot (avoided, procrastinated) to do whatever I thought I wanted to do.

So I get it on the calendar.

Somehow, if it’s on the calendar, I feel like I have to follow through with it.

Not on the calendar…I don’t go.  But if I put it on the calendar that I’m going to the gym on Tuesday and Thursday of this week…at 9:00 a.m., then I do it.

“Go camping”

When for God’s sake?  On July 14th – cool…we’re goin camping!!!

“Lose 10 pounds”

Really?  By when?…by March 12th – cool…I have 10 weeks to do it, and I swear I can lose that damned 10 pounds (even though I might spend the next 10 weeks gaining it right back).

I guess I’m just organized (anal compulsive).

Or…I have severe memory loss and can’t remember what I want to do unless it’s written down for me in an organized manner…on a daily basis.

So, even though it’s not past the 10 day mark yet…and resolutions are still hot in the air, I have a few things on the calendar for the month.

  • Go to the gym (Mondays, Wednesday, Fridays @ 9:30) for the next 4 weeks.
  • Lose that damn 5 pounds I just put on over the last 4 weeks (going to the gym 3 days a week should get that done!).
  • Resume my dance lessons with Matthew on Tuesday nights.

Whew.

I feel like I’m getting stuff done already!

And since it’s on the calendar (I really put it all on the calendar as I was writing this)…then I know I’ll follow through.

No, because resolutions suck.

Any resolutions I’ve ever made have failed.  Do I want to work out and lose weight?  Hell yes.  Does me resolving to do so actually lead to a lower resting heart rate and baggier clothes?  Nope.

Any January 1st that I’ve made a resolution, I’ve felt like a failure by March February the following Thursday.

The closest I’ve ever come to actually following through on a resolution was last year.  I wanted to read 50 books.  I got to 47.  Even though I read a lot, and came very close to my goal, I still felt like a failure.

Since I’ve never actually followed through on my resolutions, I can only assume that I’m doing it wrong.  So this year, I’m making resolutions that I know I’ll keep and do a damn fine job at:

  • I will pet the dogs.
  • I will wear my seat belt.
  • I will brush my teeth.
  • I will brush my hair.
  • I will drink water on a regular basis.
  • I will eat as many pomegranates as humanly possible.
  • I will take my contacts out before bed.
  • I will take naps.
  • I will wear pajama pants on my days off.
  • I will eat some chocolate.
  • I will try really hard not to sneeze or cough on anyone, but I make no guarantees.
  • I will actually put the new roll of toilet paper on the holder instead of just setting it next to the holder.  Wait… I don’t think I can commit to that.

I’ve already accomplished all most some of these!  Hell, I’ve already accomplished a lot of them todayGo me.

(Note that I’m not putting any qualifiers on these.  If I fall asleep in my contacts one night, I will not consider the year a failure.  I figure this way, there’s no way that 2011 can’t be a success.)

Of course, I’m guessing the year will consist of more accomplishments than just the above (at least I hope so), but I’ll just wait and see (and be excited) when that happens.

  1. Have you ever actually followed through on your resolutions?